Soundtrack

I walked this morning with the dog. 

I was quiet. And I started to listen.

very closely to the soundtrack of my walk.

I could hear his huff and pant as he ran past 

and the thud of his heavy adolescence

occasionally the click of a nail as it hit pavement

on the trails it is only the huff the pant and the thud

no click of nails in the dirt

muted by soil

I reached out a bit more and became aware of other dogs panting

sometimes behind 

sometimes beside

then in front

and the sound they made going past

there

here 

now gone

I heard my breath

And reminded myself in my hearing to breathe deeply

to remember to take in air

as it feels like I hold my breath these days

submerged

in the distance I could hear people calling their dogs

or their children

and the children's voices floated back higher

lighter 

lighter than air

all around people walked alone 

or with

or in groups 

I did not listen to the words of their talking 

ebbing and flowing with distance

but turned the voices instead into a song

riding on a wave

letting it wash over me

Now I sit and I hear the hundred year old lilac tree 

behind me creak against the wood of the deck

birds

wind

someone just slammed a car door

and my dog chews on a toy

overhead a plane 

and the sky is 

oh so blue

I hear my heart

held firm

in my mouth

beating rodent fast 

on my tongue

I will it to quiet

and rest easy in my chest.

don't worry 

breathe deep I say to myself

there is a place for you in this soundtrack.